Scientists Explain Why Being Hooked Up With Your Ex Isn’t Bad
It’s common to think about past loves when you’re in a relationship. Whether it’s a few fleeting memories of times spent together or lingering thoughts, we all reminisce about our past loves and relationships from time to time. But do these moments make you shy? Do they doubt the strength of your current relationship? Or does thinking about your ex benefit you and the person you are today? In this article, we’ll look at why thinking about your ex during a new relationship is not only natural, but also beneficial for both parties involved. So, keep reading if you want to know more!
While there’s still a taboo when it comes to acknowledging fond memories of our past romantic relationships, a recent study found that reminiscing about the past can actually be beneficial in many ways. Whether single or in a relationship, the pressure to instantly forget all memories of your ex leaves many people feeling guilty.
Here are reasons to think about your ex.
On that day European Journal of Social Psychology, a study highlights the positive aspects of revisiting memories of exes that allow us to reflect on what worked and what didn’t in past experiences to help us make more informed decisions in the current relationship. Among the benefits:
Increase feelings of appreciation and gratitude in current partner:
By reflecting on past relationships, people have a unique opportunity to critically observe how their current relationship has developed over time and what specific characteristics enhance it today. They may appreciate the overall stability and growth they have been able to achieve with their current partner, and recognize that this growth would not have been possible without them. This gratitude leads to a more meaningful appreciation and deepening of the bond shared with their partner.
Strengthening communication between partners:
It’s not about rehashing past mistakes, but learning from them. By reflecting on our past experiences, we can gain valuable knowledge about how we relate to others and apply it to our new relationships. Additionally, studying how communication changes over time helps us identify areas for improvement between ourselves and our partners, which ultimately improves connection and understanding. Taking time to reflect on your past relationships in the presence of your current partner is a powerful tool that should not be underestimated.
Reduce feelings of loneliness or insecurity in a current relationship:
Reflecting on past partners can make us more aware of red flags and pitfalls to avoid in our current relationship. This awareness leads to healthy relationships based on trust, respect and communication. Taking time to reflect on how we were hurt by someone else or how our behaviors have changed since then can help overcome loneliness or insecurity. It also helps us remember that each person is unique, which gives us perspective when everything feels bleak.
Thinking about your exes is a great way to reassert your self-esteem. Examining your past relationships can help you remember what went wrong and create patterns or mistakes you made. This will help you better understand why things are not working or happening the way you want them to. You can adopt a positive attitude by reflecting on the personal evolution you’ve made since then and the success these relationships might have had if this evolution had happened sooner.
By looking back on your life with respect rather than regret, you can appreciate the lessons of maturity you’ve learned and reaffirm your confidence that you’re good enough to handle whatever comes next. Wisely.
Assess your own growth:
When you look back on your past relationships, you give yourself an opportunity to assess the progress you’ve made in your personal growth. It’s a great way to reflect on the changes that have taken place since the relationship and can provide valuable insight into how far you’ve come. By noting the differences between who you are today and who you were during the relationship, you can better understand how your experiences have helped shape you for the better. This allows you to recognize your growth in areas such as empathy, communication, emotional maturity, conflict resolution, personal boundary setting, and self-knowledge—all aspects of personal development that will help foster healthy relationships in the future.